I’ve come to realise, in my quest to live more intentionally and healthfully, that there is a phrase that tends to sway me from my path and leaves me feeling guilty and frustrated.
Two short words. You may hear and use them often.
They are simply a license to do things we know we’ll regret.
Think about it. We never say ‘f–k it’ when we are about to do something that is good for us. As one comedian put it, “No one ever said ‘F–k it, I’m gonna have a carrot!'”
F–k it means freedom. Hedonism. Wildness. Spontaneity. Living for the moment.
At least that’s what I used to think.
Now, I realise that it tends to occur when I’m feeling bored, tired, upset or stressed. And it is only ever really an excuse for doing something that is not aligned with my values and long-term goals. Ordering that takeaway. Sending that text. Not going for a run. Having a drink. Staying up too late. Buying that expensive watch online on credit. They may seem like small things, but they make a big difference when done with regularity.
F–k it always makes me feel worse. Even as I’m saying (or thinking) those words, I get that knot in my stomach. That sinking, niggling feeling that I’m doing something I don’t really want to do. Something that is not good for my soul.
Does this mean I can never have a treat or do something spontaneous? Absolutely not! But it does mean that I need to be aware of the triggers for those two words. What leads to my temporary pretense that I don’t care, which leads into doing something I know I shouldn’t do?
Identifying those triggers in yourself can help to limit the frequency of those annoying and harmful moments.
And scheduling in treats, whether it’s a chocolate bar, a night out, a glass of wine or a city break, can help you to avoid feeling deprived and entitled to some spontaneous fun. Budgeting for treats will help protect your mind and your wallet, and will also enable you to find better deals ahead of time, so you can enjoy the good stuff without the sudden expense and without the guilt.
Also, be careful around those people I like to call ‘f–k it feeders’. You know the ones. The (often well-meaning) friends and family members who will say “Oh, go on! A little bit won’t hurt.” “You can worry about that tomorrow.” Or, my personal favourite, “You only live once.”
The logic of that last statement is difficult to argue with. And I used to subscribe to it.
But now I realise that those f–k it moments don’t lead to joy, peace or happiness–they lead to guilt and shame and have an impact upon my wallet and my waistline (two areas most of us would like to tighten up!)
You do have one life, and it is brief and precious. Precious enough to try to reduce the frequency of your f–k it moments and live more consciously.
Spend your days wisely, making choices that reflect your values, who you are in the most beautiful and pristine part of your soul. Budget for fun, choose your pleasure, enjoy it guilt-free.
Own your choices. Don’t let them own you.