I’m about to go to bed after a good but tiring first day back at school with the children, but I wanted to post briefly about something that’s been on my mind… It has struck me recently that sometimes I actually hamper my own progress because I am frightened. I am talking about spiritual progress, or essentially about coping with a particular difficult life circumstance. I think that many of us do this. In the particular, personal situation I am thinking of (moving on from a complicated relationship) I feel sometimes that I am actually doing a lot better than
There are morning crows on the splintered fences, yakking and pushing each other around. The first crunches of ice on the ground, these cheap boots that let the water in. I want this all to be over. I want it only to begin. I long to reach in to the gut and the lungs and the mess of it. Hold it still, keep it all exactly as it is. There is a Christmas tree in the bedroom now, the kind that makes slow patterns on the wall. Crackling war songs and changing colours as she sleeps. I can still hear
The fields are flooded, waterlogged since the weekend. Still white tulip blossoms sit like children in the trees beside the dirt road, heads back, mouths stretched wide, waiting for rain.