I’m sorry it has been a little while since I’ve written. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year!
Our festive period was quite strange and emotional, due to the loss of my grandmother, but we enjoyed family time together and really made the best of it. Unfortunately on New Year’s Eve, the day after my grandma’s funeral, we had to take my beloved cat, Maisie, to the vet to be put to sleep. She has been unwell recently, the prognosis was not good, and we knew it was only a matter of time. The night before, her hind legs stopped working and we had to bring the water bowl to her mouth. We just couldn’t let her suffer. It was a heartbreaking decision, but I know it was the right one–the end was so quick, so painless and peaceful, and she just fell asleep as we held and stroked her. I will miss my sweet little companion so much, but I am so grateful for the years we had together and for the unconditional love between us. She gave us so much, but I know she had a wonderful life too. That makes it all easier to bear.
I am now back at work, so teaching will kick me back into fourth gear quite quickly! But, in the midst of the busy agenda and the recent upset, I am, and want to remain, completely focused on the present moment and on ‘feeling the feelings without the storyline’. I am also going through a situation at the moment with someone, which feels like a great loss to me, and I could drive myself crazy about it if I let my mind spin (and, believe me, I have at times for the past couple of years!) but I realise that it does absolutely no good and changes nothing. At some point, you just realise that, however painful something is, it is more pleasurable to be in the present moment than it is to be pulled along, and under, with the wild current of your thoughts. It’s a constant redirection, a gentle pulling of your mind back to the present, as you would a wayward puppy.
Be kind to yourself. Drop the storyline, feel the heat of the emotions, knowing they will ebb and flow and cannot harm the purest part of you.
I will write more later but, for now, I wish you all a wonderful day.